Trying to not let it get to me...

It's been rough the last couple of days. I have been in "high anxiety", but it is easing. I was freaked out yesterday, and didn't leave my room, because it is behind a brick wall. But today, I got out more, and went to counseling (we tried not to use the word "emergency", but technically that was what it was). The police think it was random, and a gang initiation rite, but my neighbor is under investigation for selling marijuana. I think the gunshot has to do with my neighborhood. I thought of putting a sign in my window with an arrow to the drug dealer, but I think that might be going overboard!!
I'm back to rational fear though. If it is the neighbors, then the people might come back to finish the job. I am being careful, in that I look if I am going to the kitchen or living room to see if anyone is in the parking lot. My "good" neighbors in the apartment complex are looking out for suspicious activity in the parking lot too, so that is easing my fears. The police are checking our parking lot more often than usual. Maintenance for the building came today and patched up the bullet holes...but I still am aware they are there.
I vomited anything I tried to eat or drink on Saturday, and I am sure it was because of anxiety. I went back on liquids for awhile, and tonight I was able to go back to ground/blended food...meat that is tuna-fish texture. I also had hives all weekend, but they went away today too.
I was much better in being able to concentrate today, and I finished tons of Medicaid paperwork. I think I faxed 25 pages!! There is supposed to be a meeting tomorrow with 3 people at the Department of Human Services about my case, and what happened with my worker. I am supposed to go, but after the gunshot incident, I said it was too much of a stressor to drive a distance to get there, sit in a waiting room with a bunch of people who I am not comfortable being around on a good day, and talking to a group of DHS workers I have never met. I have a fax machine and I have supplied them plenty of information all along. They need to be able to actually do something without me there.
I've lost 20 lbs. since the lap-band surgery. I'm fitting into many of the clothes that were given to me last year. I see the surgeon next week for my one-month post operative appt.

Well, off to bed...