Another day...

It's been an interesting day. I am developing some sleep problems... I think it is because the gunshot was at 5 a.m.--when it was dark... I am up all night the last two nights and sleep all day. This is okay this week because it's spring break, and there are no sub teaching jobs and no medical appointments.

I was referred to Adult Protective Services by someone at the Department of Human Services. They called my counselor at Riverwood Center, and had him do a "welfare" check on me. This just ticks me off. I say I am too stressed to come to the meeting, so suddenly I need psych intervention that I can't arrange on my own? Adult Protective Services is for people who don't have the capacity to help themselves out of a situation...such as elder abuse or abuse concerning someone with a disability.

Yes, I am concerned disabled, but I am quite capable of asking for help and I know what is best for me. If the person had actually called me from the Department of Human Services and had a conversation with me (nobody actually talks to me from there), he/she would have found that I am having a stress reaction within the "normal" range for such an incident, and my thoughts and fears are rational, i.e. I fear somebody coming back and mistaking my apartment for the "drug" apartment next door, which is the theory I most believe as motive for the gunshot.

I just ended up feeling like people there at DHS were trying to discredit me, in that I have some valid complaints on how they are handling my Medicaid case. It seems to be a tactic popular these days against me. Last October, I whistleblew on a agency to the state that I was on the board of directors of, for producing fradulent documents. I did this to protect my occupational therapy license. The director and the president of the board were my friends. They haven't spoken to me in 6 months now, but I am okay with it, as I have a moral compass guiding me, and can sleep at night knowing I did the right thing, not like them. But in retaliation, they have been telling people that I am psychotic, and the state didn't believe my accusations, as they were "psychotic ramblings". This is so untrue...the state believed every word, and added items to a plan of correction for the agency. So this is not the first time the "let's just label her crazy, so we don't have to change or deal with the truth" has been used in my small world lately.

Well, it's 4 a.m. -- I think I'll try to sleep again. If I don't get back into a good pattern soon, I'll talk to the docs about medication to regulate me. Such fun...