I'm defintely not McKmama with my readership...

I was surprised today that the health club gunman yesterday had a blog. I read it. For a year, he had been planning his "final exit". I guess no one read his blog. Maybe it could have been prevented. But I understand this man's loneliness but not his actions. Maybe his blog was a way to reach out to people, just in case someone was reading his blog.

Over a month ago, I stated that I was sexually assaulted. Yet, not one comment. I've come to conclusion nobody is reading. I'm not McKmama, with thousands of replies, mostly of support of what she is going through. I go through all of this alone. Everyday. The fairness of it all is getting to me. It's unfair that I am treated badly by Michigan as far as Medicaid. It's unfair that I have to move out of state to get a job when their is dire and desperate need here in my county. Everything is about money. I can't even get an oximeter to save my life after 5 months. I just don't get the unfairness of this all. Stellan can be flown to Boston on a private air ambulance, but I can't get a $1400 piece of medical equipment? I have to deal with the sexual assault alone? I don't see many bloggers who have to live on $335 a month after Medicaid like I do in Michigan. Yes, I am jealous. But I have a right to be. I am ill, so I should lose everything??

I try to be a good person, I really do. I reach out to those I can. I'm just tired of being ignored. Blogging doesn't seem worth it to me anymore. It's more like my private journal now. And I don't see a benefit to keeping it on-line. I'd better sign off. I'm still hopeful for a better future, but today I am totally down in the dumps.