Well, it's not quiet anymore. I had a phone interview yesterday with Columbus, Ohio. Then another district near Columbus called, and I have a phone interview on Friday morning. And then a district here in Michigan near Lansing called, and I have an in-person interview tomorrow there. And then the Columbus, Ohio district decided they want me for an in-person interview on Monday. Where did my quiet go??
Read more...After all the turmoil this summer, this past week has turned into a quiet, sweet time. No work, no interviews, etc. I do have lots of preparing to do. I finally have my "expedited" hearing from Medicaid on the 27th! I only have had to wait since April for it! I also have lots of paperwork generally, so I have put the computer in my bedroom, which helps because there is air conditioning in that room only. I didn't realize how much I have been "heat sick" in recent weeks. But I am cool now!
Also this week, I'll be working the booth at the county's youth fair for the Democratic club. That will be fun!
Enjoying my "quiet"...
After yesterday, I decided to write the school district near Cleveland and tell them that I couldn't afford to come because of the cost. They are going to do a phone interview instead. Maybe it will work out, in that they were willing to consider a "real life" problem. Who knows.
Still discouraged from yesterday. I can't change my past or my lack of opportunities that others have. I've made good choices most of my life and that's all I can do.
I have had a headache all day. I probably had a bad night with the sleep apnea, and maybe the heart arrythmia. Since I still don't have the oximeter with alarms, I am unmonitored at night. I got an apology from my doctor's office today for delaying it 10 days in their office by not sending the prior authorization back to Apria, which may cause another month's delay with Medicaid. It's totally frustrating. Yeah, we have the greatest health care in the world, don't you know? Not, when someone like me can't get a needed piece of medical equipment to save my life in 5 months now because of insurance, Medicaid, home health care companies, and doctors juggling whose responsibility it is. So tired of the struggle,
Laurie
Just a post about another job rejection. Basically she said at the interview that it was great that I was different and an independent thinker--that my gift to the profession is being "out of the box". But then her reasons for not hiring me, was that I wasn't "in the box".
Here's part of a letter I wrote describing my day:
received this email during my lunch break at Blossomland. I was in a class where I can be myself. Basically, the aides knew my skills, and wanted me to physically work on the kids (actually they are 15-20 years old, but still kids to me). All of them have some kind of problem that needs either occupational or physical therapy to resolve. Not one gets therapy. They are in pain. Once I had worked with them, they all became more animated and smiling and happier. Their negative and self-stimulating behaviors stopped. They started talking (some of them can talk, but don't). It was amazing what was happening, and even the aides noticed a great difference in their functioning,
This was great, but also was making me feel so sad, as I could do this everyday, these kids deserved it, yet I can't? That I have to leave to survive despite this great need?? Then I got the email at my lunch break. When I came back, I didn't tell the aides about the email. But this low functioning girl, came up and sat on my lap and put her head on my shoulder, like she knew I needed comforting (this hadn't happened before). After five minutes like this, she started crying. I started crying. I have a gift that not many people have with these kids, and I always have--people saw this in my past--I won human service and humanitarian awards in California. But because of money, I can't share this gift with these kids I care so much about? Even the lowest functioning kid can sense how wrong this is, but these so called professionals can't?
I did "pull myself together", as I realized my sadness was affecting the room, and became lively and fun to compensate. I then went to Fred Upton's for the "sit-in". I have told so many people about these kids needs, including him. Yet, I was politely not welcomed there. They had taken the chairs out of the reception area, so really it was not a "sit-in". I was told I could leave a message for him. How do express all I feel about this lack of health care for these kids in a message, and what my situation is because of my need for medical care? I explained who I was, and that I would send an email to him directly with my concerns, as it isn't something I could say in a sentence. I left.
Anyways, it's all getting to me. Even if I have a great interview, I'm not going to fit into their "box". While this should be celebrated, that I am an independent thinker, and have great intiution and care for those I serve, they want a drone. I am still emotionally split on going to Ohio on Friday. Even if I have a good interview, things like what happened with the Illinois ISD could happen there. And I can't afford it either financially, even though I have made reservations.
I was surprised today that the health club gunman yesterday had a blog. I read it. For a year, he had been planning his "final exit". I guess no one read his blog. Maybe it could have been prevented. But I understand this man's loneliness but not his actions. Maybe his blog was a way to reach out to people, just in case someone was reading his blog.
Over a month ago, I stated that I was sexually assaulted. Yet, not one comment. I've come to conclusion nobody is reading. I'm not McKmama, with thousands of replies, mostly of support of what she is going through. I go through all of this alone. Everyday. The fairness of it all is getting to me. It's unfair that I am treated badly by Michigan as far as Medicaid. It's unfair that I have to move out of state to get a job when their is dire and desperate need here in my county. Everything is about money. I can't even get an oximeter to save my life after 5 months. I just don't get the unfairness of this all. Stellan can be flown to Boston on a private air ambulance, but I can't get a $1400 piece of medical equipment? I have to deal with the sexual assault alone? I don't see many bloggers who have to live on $335 a month after Medicaid like I do in Michigan. Yes, I am jealous. But I have a right to be. I am ill, so I should lose everything??
I try to be a good person, I really do. I reach out to those I can. I'm just tired of being ignored. Blogging doesn't seem worth it to me anymore. It's more like my private journal now. And I don't see a benefit to keeping it on-line. I'd better sign off. I'm still hopeful for a better future, but today I am totally down in the dumps.
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