rough time

Everything has been a whir these past few weeks, mostly with good things happening, i.e. job interviews, etc. But what I haven't mentioned to many people is that I was mildly sexually assaulted last week in Chicago...think groping..it only lasted about 2 minutes. I did the right things, i.e. pretending to press an emergency button on my cell phone and saying I was going to scream if he didn't leave. It's not the worst that has happened to me by far, but I am in a full-blown PTSD episode because of it, mostly physical symptoms.

My body is doing weird things...such as I gained 12 lbs. in 5 days, and it's not because of eating or any known medical cause. I think my body/hormones are trying to store weight...my weight has always been my armor against sexuality and men paying attention to me. I have repeated sexual assaults/rapes throughout my lifetime. I've been in counseling forever, and have made great progress. It is so scary though that I am having such physical symptoms...either extreme pain throughout my body or completely numb. I also seem to be having problems with my sleep apnea/breathing at night. I've increased my oxygen, and pressures on my sleep apnea machine.

It's difficult also because I am really in need of medical advice because of my medical conditions, but I am not at a point of telling my doctors yet. My counselor knows, and gave me advice, but I don't know if it is enough to handle it all. Plus it's a long holiday weekend to top it off.

Please pray for my well-being and recovery from this. I know I'll do well, but I need to face that it has happened again. Thanks.